Insight from a 4 year old - Written in 2003

I remember playing a game of Old Maid with a young child. She was 4 years old. Old Maid is a card game where whomever is stuck with the old maid at the end of the game is declared the loser. We sat down to play and immediately she sifted through the cards and plucked out the old maid. She placed this card gently next to her. I asked her why she removed the old maid. She said that because it was the loser’s card. I told her that I know this much is true but why did she remove it? She looked at me with a look of simplicity, tilted her head, and replied, “that way everyone wins”. I said maybe, but what is the point of playing the game? She said because it was fun and we can make up our own rules and as we play and no one is sad [be]cause they lost. So we made up our own rules as we went along. Each time we started a new games she put the old maid card back and I asked her why does she always put it back, she said because she likes to take it out every time to make sure we win. I noted her response.

How many times in our lives have we said, “I have to play with the cards I was dealt” or something along those lines? How many times have we allowed obstacles to remain, when it is a simple matter of removing rather than “over coming” them? Some obstacles remain because we allow them to remain. Yes, we all like a challenge, but at what cost? Life is not a game where you can completely and absolutely make your own rules, but how often do we allow the rules to make us?

This child first identified the obstacle that would keep her from winning. It seems as if she had a plan. Not only did she want to play, she wanted to win. The only thing standing in her way was that card. She knew that it was there and sought that card out to eliminate it as a factor for failure.

Next she simply removed it, but she kept it in sight. Sometime we identify an obstacle and instead of removing it, we try to move around it. It may be a simple matter of choice to remove an obstacle. It may be a simple matter of choice to avoid the creation of an obstacle. In either case we always attempt to develop a mitigation plan to avoid that obstacle instead of trying to eliminate its presence.

Removing obstacles may open the door to your success or success of many others. Which, in a sense, changes the rules. Once equipped with knowledge that comes from an education – be it street, formal, spiritual, etc. – you now have the ability to decide what to do when faced with various decisions and how to assess a situation. You can determine the rules that you need to abide by, or not, in order to accomplish your goal. It takes more effort to rectify a mistake than it does to put sound thought into a decision. It’s a matter of working smarter, not harder.

Step back and assess your situation. Do you have “old maids” in your life that can simply be removed or will you continue to play with the hand you are dealt?